


The Crystal Gems VS The Fearsome Four

by Dr_John_Smith_1996



Category: Army of Darkness (1992), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:35:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4443644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_John_Smith_1996/pseuds/Dr_John_Smith_1996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Crystal Gems are looking for the demonic Puzzle Box, but when they find it, they must take on another team known as The Fearsome Four. Will the teams kill each other or team up to stop Pinhead and the Cenobites?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pearl's Mission

-Pearl-

Pearl appeared on the warp pad, it was on some sort of mission she told the Gems that she was handling alone. The mission was to secure the Puzzle Box; a box of pure evil. Once used by Yellow Diamond to destroy planets that wouldn’t convert to the Gem Homeworld, It was too dangerous too leave in the world for anyone too grab. She had located it in some old cabin in the woods. 

“There it is, The Puzzle Box is in that cabin. I’ll show Jasper whose strong enough to handle something so powerful... Took her down once.” Pearl summoned her staff, opening the door, “Now to get looking.”

-Ash-

Ash drove up in his car, he grimaced at the cabin that ruined his life. He slipped his nub into his chainsaw, “Now to get this box and get out of here. I don’t like this cabin...” He readied his Boomstick and kicked the door in.

He looked around the living room, stopping to the petit, ballerina like woman holding a staff. Ash gave a confused look, “Hi lady, hope I’m not interrupting your weekend or anything, but I’m here for something important.” Ash told Pearl. Pearl eyed Ash up and down, from his chainsaw to his slicked black hair and face scars. Even his chin, which was sort of chiseled in a way.

“I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I’m looking for a Puzzle Box.” Pearl told Ash. Ash started chuckling, “What is so funny?” Ash reminded her so much of Amethyst.

“I’m looking for the same thing, and I know a guy who can dispose of it.” Ash stated. Pearl got a look of shock.

“Destroy it!?!” Pearl shouted.

“Yeah, in a way, yeah! What are you gonna do with it anyways?” Ash asked.

Pearl gave a snooty look, “Well, I plan to bubble it, and store it for eternity.” Pearl heard the rev of a chainsaw, “Oh? What does that sound mean?”

“It means,” Ash started, pulling out his Boomstick, “I’m not letting you have that box. Even if I have to shop you into pieces to do it.” Pearl readied her staff as Ash raised his chainsaw. 

“Let’s do this!” Pearl shouted.

“Groovy.” Ash stated.

The two lunged at each other. Chainsaw on staff, Ash had Pearl to the ground, Ash was too strong for Pearl, Ash was inches from her face, “You know something lady.” Ash said in a cocky tone.

Pearl gave a sour face, “What!?”

“You’re cute when you’re mad.” Ash said. Pearl shouted and kicked Ash off of her. Before Ash could get up, Pearl had her staff at his throat. 

“Hey lady!” Ash shouted, he swept his legs through Pearl, causing her to fall to the ground. Before Pearl could grab her staff, Ash pointed his Boomstick at her Gem. “That wasn’t very nice. Looks like old Ash is gonna have to teach some manners.” Ash pulled the trigger, but to his dismay, a click. Ash lifted the Boomstick from Pearl’s head, looking into the barrel, “Did I forget too load it again?” As Ash was busy with the Boomstick, Pearl kicked his stomach. Throwing him into a couch.

Pearl picked up her staff and pointed it at Ash, “What was that about manners?” Ash chuckled again, “What is so funny!?”

“You?” Ash pointed out, “I could have taken you down at anytime, but you keep pushing yourself to do more.” Ash told her. Pearl looked furious.

“Who do you think you’re talking too! I am a Crystal Gem!” Pearl stated to Ash. Ash then looked surprised, “What?”

“You’re a Crystal Gem? The thing Herbert hasn’t shut up about since he got back from his away call?” Ash said in surprise. Ash moved the staff out of the way, “Listen, we got off on the wrong foot. Let’s start over. My names Ash Williams.” Ash said, extending his good hand. Pearl shook it in kindness.

“Pearl.” She looked around, noticing a small kitchen, “Tea?”

“Sure.” Ash told her. Pear then walked to the cabin’s small kitchen, and started making tea for both her and Ash.


	2. The Cabin

Pinhead roamed around the Labyrinth, he looked upon the chained up figures hanging from the walls, “You have failed in your attempts. How do you plead?” Pinhead looked to Candyman. Candyman wriggled in his chains, in an attempt to break them.

“I plead not guilty! My plot was foiled by those four wastes of life!” Candyman complained.

“Oh shut up!” Yelled Chucky, The Good Guy Doll, “We lost because you suck at planing.” Chucky then began mocking “I plan to use a book to rule the world! You didn’t even think about Ash freaking Williams trying to stop ya! You’re a schmuck you know that?” Chucky scolded.

Pinhead flicked his hand, silencing Chucky and Candyman. “Chatterer. Take care of them.” Pinhead said to the bizarre looking creature with a mouth with no lips and chattering teeth. Pinhead walked away, in the distance, Leviathan spun. The lord of Hell. 

-Garnet-

Garnet sat on the couch. She had her usual stoic expression, Steven at next to her, sleeping. Garnet suddenly stood up, Steven jolting awake. “Huh? Garnet, what’s wrong?”

“I’m going after her.” Garnet said.

“Pearl? She said she was going on this mission alone. To prove herself.” Steven told to the fusion.

“I know Steven, but what she’s after is too dangerous for her too handle alone.” Garnet explained, “Leviathan’s Puzzle Box is too powerful, and can corrupt those who wield it, forcing them to open it.” Garnet’s tone was very serious. Steven jumped off the couch, standing tall... well, tall enough for Garnet.

“I’m a Gem too! I’ve handled dangerous missions and single handedly reformed Jasper and Peridot!” Steven told Garnet, “So please let me come along!” Garnet chuckled.

“Alright.” Garnet said. It was then Amethyst came into the room.

“Sup guys?” Amethyst said, going strait to the fridge, “Whatcha doing?” She asked, digging into a turkey leg.

“We’re going after Pearl on her mission!” Steven blurted.

“Really? I’m coming too. I wanna see Pearl’s face when she sees it’s just a block of wood.” Amethyst said, and the three warped away.

-Cabin in the woods-

The warp pad activated, warping Steven, Garnet, and Amethyst to the old cabin. Steven was creeped out by the eerie woods that surrounded him. As the three walked towards the cabin, Steven noticed a yellow car parked out front. “Huh?” Steven questioned.

Amethyst noticed his confusion, “What? It’s probably someone’s car and left it here. No big deal.” Steven took a quick peek inside, seeing shot gun shells lying on the passenger seat, as if the person owned a gun and meant to load it. It was then two silver pole like objects popped up and a really tall man in a mortician suit stepped out, “Whoa...” Both Steven and Amethyst commented.

“Hello, Booooy.” The TallMan said to Steven. The person who followed behind was someone Steven actually recognized.

“Dr. West!” Steven shouted. Herbert West looked down in surprise.

“Steven? What are you doing here? This isn’t a safe place for kids.” Herbert told Steven. Amethyst looked confused at their interaction.

“Uh, Steven, whose this?” Amethyst asked, pointing to Herbert.

“That’s Dr. West. He helped fix Peridot.”

Herbert chuckled nervously, “I don’t know about help. I gave some of my serum to Mr. Fryman. Say, how is Ms. Peridot doing?” Herbert asked out of curiosity.

“She’s doing better. Say, whose your friend?” Steven asked, pointing to The TallMan. 

“This is is The TallMan, and you remember...” Herbert looked around, “Jebediah, where’s Kayako?” Herbert asked, looking around. Soon a small voice was heard from behind a bush.

“I’m...” Another sound of nauseating sounds, “Fine.” Kayako said, as she shakily walked towards Herbert and The TallMan. “I hate those things... They make me woozy...” Kayako joined Herbert and The TallMan. Forming three of The Fearsome Four.

Garnet formed her fists formed into her gauntlet’s, pointing them to The TallMan. The TallMan intern pulled out a Sentinel Sphere with a moving drill, and at the same time asked, “State your business!”

“We are The Fearsome Four. A team dedicated to stopping evil.” The TallMan explained. “We were formed to stop The Candyman from using the Necronomicon and rule the world with the Deadites. Me and my partners Ash Williams, Herbert West, and Kayako Saeki are the only ones who stand between evil and the world.” The TallMan explained. Garnet smiled.

“We are The Crystal Gems! Protectors of the universe and all of mankind! Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven!” Garnet proclaimed. Steven got in between them.

“Hey, now no fighting!” Steven said to the two. Garnet unformed her gauntlet’s, looking to Steven. “You’re right. We need to find Pearl.” Garnet said.

“And we need to find Ash.” Herbert told The TallMan. Steven and Herbert locked eyes for a moment, before turning to their temporary team leader’s. 

“What was Pearl’s mission?” Steven asked Garnet.

“What was Ash’s mission?” Herbert asked The TallMan.

As if on cue, the two replied at the same time, “To find Leviathan’s Puzzle Box.” Garnet and The TallMan looked at each other for a bit, before looking to the cabin. Herbert chiming in.

“Well, either she killed him or he killed her. Or they’re both dead.” Herbert said to no one in particular. 

-Inside-

The group looked to the almost destroyed cabin living room. The TallMan examined slices on the floor, noticing the etching’s he knew it was Ash’s chainsaw. The group stood there, confused on where Pearl and Ash were. 

The TallMan inhaled calmly, “They fought alright.”

“Yeah,” Amethyst started, “I can see markings from Pearl’s staff everywhere.” Amethyst leaned in to the wall, “Gun shot holes?”

“Ah,” Herbert said from behind, “He used his ‘Boomstick’ to try and, I’m quoting him here, blow her to bits.” Herbert explained. Amethyst nodded, poking the hole. Garnet noticed a pot of tea on a side table. “She was here. And it looks like she made tea.” Garnet observed.

“I say we split up, but keep an eye on each other.” The TallMan started, “I will go with Garnet. Kayako with Amethyst. Herbert with Steven. We will find Ash and Pearl, hopefully in one piece.” The TallMan ordered the group. They then split up.

Amethyst and Kayako checked the kitchen, Amethyst opened the refrigerator, “They’re not here!”

Garnet busted open the lock on a closed secret hatch in the living room floor, “We’ll check down here, keep looking!” Garnet said as her and The TallMan explored the basement of the cabin.

Herbert and Steven were checking the hallways, “You think we’ll find them?” Steven asked.

“Who knows.” Herbert stated, “Knowing Ash, he probably chased her into the woods.” Herbert said, he noticed a bedroom door, “Let’s check here... Let me go first though.” Herbert said, Steven nodded. Herbert opened the door slowly, seeing bits of Ash’s clothes strewn everywhere and pieces of clothes he didn’t recognize, assuming they’re Pearl’s. What he saw next, Herbert wished he could unsee. Ash was sleeping, with a pale woman with orange hair and a pearl gem in her forehead sleeping on top of him. Herbert quickly shut the door and started fussing with his tie, this confused Steven.

“What happened? What’d you see in there?” Steven questioned. Herbert let out a deep breath, “I’ll tell you when you’re older, right now let’s head back to the group.” Herbert said as he grabbed Steven and went back to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Fearsome Four, this will show scenes of the main antagonist. I hope you enjoyed the little gag at the end!

**Author's Note:**

> This is in cannon with my fic's Fearsome Four and To Love a Gem.


End file.
